Humor Poetry posted February 9, 2016


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Well, I do lack courage! I'm PETRIFIED of HRT!!

Hormones Suck

by Gypsymooncat

I Am Not Perfect Contest Winner 
The author has placed a warning on this post for language.

I surely am hormonal for I'm flushing quite a lot
which is normal, so they say, but I say NO IT'S NOT
for how could it be normal when a rash of red appears
for no apparent reason on my cheeks, my neck and ears?

I'm sweating like a boxer who just smacked his rival down
but he's been pummelling that guy for over seven rounds
unlike me who catches naps at any time or place
(the bathroom or the staffroom – either is my happy space)

My abdomen's expanding and my temper's getting thin
and I am having issues keeping both of 'em reined in:
those carbohydrates yell at me until I scoff them all
and if someone upsets me it'll end up in a brawl

 

Way down below has dried right up and sex is being tossed
and I could make a million nests from all the hair I've lost
my memory, like sex, is noted for its disappearance
not to mention mood swings mucking up with my coherence

I'm taking supplements, and eating food that's healthier
but all the symptoms listed here have gotten stealthier
they creep back in when I was sure they'd never reappear
(then I buy shares in Carefree for another bleedin' year)


A pill prescribed by Doccy maybe would be for the best
but I am petrified of all their nasty side effects
so while I stay the way I am (that's being a gutless schmuck)
I'll suffer till I'm 65 coz HORMONES TRULY SUCK!


Writing Prompt
Write a poem about a flaw that you see in yourself.

I Am Not Perfect
Contest Winner


A rant written some time ago, before I gained the courage to go on HRT. Boy, do we girls go through some discomfort during this transitional phase of our lives! But I'm here to say that HRT, according to my doctor here, doesn't pose as much threat as originally thought, so this isn't written to frighten people off it!

"Doccy" is a cute word for "Doctor"

In Australia, we call hot flashes, "flushes", but they're all one in the same lol!
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