Humor Fiction posted July 5, 2017

This work has reached the exceptional level
A Start Trek episode.

Star Trek - The Lost Episode

by Thomas Bowling

The familiar Star Trek theme signals the beginning of the show. Space, the Final Frontier . . . The audience applauds as Captain Jennifer Anniston takes the helm. “Bring the ship around, Sulu.”

“I don't know what that means, Captain. Around to where?”

“I don't care.  Anywhere.  Just bring her around and go to warp seven.”

“Aye, aye, sir. Going to warp seven.”

Even though there's no sound in space, for some reason, the engines can be heard whining 
to life.

“Warp seven has been reached, Captain.”

“Good. Where are we going?”

“According to my instruments, we're headed deep into 
Klingon territory.”

“That's not good. Is that where I said I wanted to go?”

“That's the direction the ship was pointing after I brought it around.”

“Spock, what are our options?”

The audience applauds as Ross walks onto the bridge.

“Logically speaking, Captain, we can run, or stay and fight. If we run, there's a forty-eight percent probability that we'll be followed and destroyed.”

“And if we fight?”

“There is a ninety-nine percent probability that we'll be vaporized.”

“Damn your probabilities. Why can’t I get a straight answer from you? Lieutenant 
Aorroroyo, get Bones up here.”

Once again, the audience applauds as Joey joins the cast.

“Bones, we're facing a dilemma. We've strayed into 
Romulan space.” 

“Klingon space,” Sulu says. "We signed a treaty with the 
Romulans last month.”

Romulan's, Spomulan's, whatever. Bones, Spock has given us two options. Neither is acceptable. Give me your assessment of the situation.”

“Damn it, Jen, I'm a doctor, not a mathematician.”

Joey storms off the bridge. The ladies in the audience let out a collective sigh.

Spock says, “I'm afraid Doctor McCoy can't help us. There is 
an eighty-seven percent chance he couldn't even set a sprained ankle.”

“I know, Spock, but it was worth a try. Sulu, how's the cloaking device coming along?”

Sulu shrugs. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Captain.”

“That's right, we don't get the cloaking device until next season. All right, if it's a fight they want, that's what we'll give them."

The crew springs into action. 

"Sulu, arm the photon torpedoes. Lieutenant Arapahoyo, deflector shields at full strength. Sulu, bring the ship around. Spock, prepare to fire on my command. Let's see what they've got.”

In an instant, the Enterprise is vaporized.

Surprise Me writing prompt entry
Writing Prompt
This is a flash fiction contest. Write a story that has a surprise ending. Since it is flash, the word count must be between 200 and 600 words. The ending can be funny, sad, shocking, etc. But the reader has to be surprised.
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

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