General Fiction posted March 8, 2019

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A Political Translation Guide

by Rachelle Allen

Success in life is all about having superior decoding skills.

For example, when a realtor advertises an apartment as "cozy," rest assured that you'll be able to open your refrigerator and put your feet on the couch while using the toilet.

It's no different when politicians take the microphone.

"My fellow Americans" really means "I'm just like you; you can trust me. We're on the same team."

"My opponent claims..." actually means "He's the bad guy; don't believe a word out of that mouth."

"Now let me give you some statistics" translates to "Prepare to be bored to tears so that you'll stop listening, and I can fill up my allotted time with hooey."

"I have not made a decision to run" is political-speak for "I'll announce my candidacy soon."

And finally, in the interest of supreme showmanship (and what is politics if not good theatre?), the best secret message of all is saved for the grand finale': "God bless you and God bless America."

"Bless" means "help."

Getting To The Bottom Of It writing prompt entry
Writing Prompt
Politicians' speeches or comments often are not accurate reflections of what is on their minds.
Exemplify that observation in fewer than 200 words.

Pays one point and 2 member cents.

Artwork by supergold at

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