|Humor Script posted August 10, 2019|
A Tom and Carol script.
The Importance of Segues
Carol walks into Tom's office.
Carol: What's that guy's name?
Tom: I need a little more information.
Carol: That guy in the show I'm watching.
Tom: Why are you always so vague?
Carol: That's it, Vince Vaughn. Thanks, you're better than Google.
Tom: How in the world did you get Vince Vaughn out of vague?
Carol: They sound the same. How did you miss it?
Tom: I don't know. Everything you say confuses me.
Later that evening, Carol is back.
Carol: Did you hear that?
Tom: Hear what?
Carol: The First Lady was assassinated.
Tom: Oh, no. That's terrible. I feel so sorry for President Trump.
Carol: Not Melania, silly. The First Lady in the movie I'm watching.
Tom: Do you know what a segue is?
Carol: Sure, our mailman rides one.
Tom: I'm talking about the segue that provides context for what's to follow. When you speak to me, you should use a segue.
Carol: No problem. It's going to take a lot longer to tell you anything.
Tom: I have the patience of Job.
Carol: The guy who was the president of Apple?
Tom: One and the same. You're a genius. You should work for . . .
Tom: Yes. How did you know what I was going to say?
Carol: Context. I know you wouldn't say The Mayonnaise Clinic.
Tom: Mayo Clinic.
Carol: What did I say?
Tom: You said Willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory.
Carol: You're funny. Willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory would be a fun place to work. I wonder if they're hiring.
Tom: It's not a real place.
Carol: Of course, it is. They made a couple of documentaries about it. They even got some big-name actors to appear in them, that funny guy and the good-looking one. They gave some kids a guided tour. Don't you remember? We watched them both.
Tom: Yes. The documentaries. I remember them now. They were very educational.
The next day, Tom decided to try some of Carol's mysterious speaking.
Tom: Honey, Will you bring me that thing?
Carol: Sure. It's in the utility drawer.
A few minutes later, Carol handed Tom a Philip-head screwdriver.
Tom: How did you know what I wanted?
Carol: You asked me to bring it to you.
Tom: You're driving me . . .
Carol: To the store to buy some Diet Coke.
Tom: You read my mind. Grab your keys.
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