General Poetry posted May 30, 2020


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Goodbye Pal

Poem

by CHANYA MASHENGU

GOODBYE PAL
We met when I was a child, a mixture of a child and an adult at least it felt that way.
Why? I still would go back and forth to ask for my parent's decisions on the challenges that I was facing."Goodbye Pal"

The first day we met, I didn't even have clothes to wear to please you, Not even on our first intimate day. I was going to spend 8 hours with you. Without my sibling, college mates, or parents. I was uncertain about how you were going to treat me. Even then, I knew that I chose you over my first love for the financial gain. Forgive me but I
have to say it at this moment. I thought we would be married briefly then I would finally go back to my first love. My first love had no money but I would always have a sense of satisfaction with him. I loved him more. "Goodbye pal"

As the years slipped by I realized more than ever that I loved you less and especially when you kept showing opening your preference for other women. Many times I contemplated divorce but nay the money was sweet. Pal, remember I came from a family that lacked and I feared to go back to see my mother and siblings suffer. That was the main reason I stuck to you. In addition, close people to me influenced my sticking because they reminded me frequently how lucky I was. "Goodbye pal"

Meanwhile, my first love remained first love. He still could remember the little bits and pieces I once and in a while offered. He has loved me to date. And you know what! Whenever we could meet as "brother and sister" it felt completely fulfilling and synchronized. I have battled with this for 20 years now. Pal, forgive me. I have finally made a decision "Goodbye Pal."

Regardless of the challenges, I will face, I know I will make it. If I managed to live with you for that long, struggling to understand you and love you, how about a person whose passion has not died for all these years? Wish me luck knowing that I have apologized for the years spent loving you for wrong reasons, for financial gain. I am convinced that I need to spend the remaining part of my active life with someone who I have always loved more. "Goodbye Pal"

I gave my best but of course, my best was not always good enough. For that I understand. It only could happen if I loved you as much as my first love. "Goodbye pal"

Thanks for helping me get over you, your last blows did it. I was with you through all tough times, but finally, my true sense of self can now stand up and say this is enough. Through the years my first love has grown too and my fears were never confirmed. "Goodbye pal"

My advice to you is that remain tough since it will help more people understand themselves. You are also likely to get true love as opposed to financial go-getter." Goodbye Pal."

Thank you for sustaining me through the 20 years. I have grown in your arms and archived a lot under you. Though my motivation was money you taught me to give my whole in all situations. I owe it to you for the character that I am. You have shaped my life.
"Goodbye Pal"


Recognized


Straight from my heart as I left formal employment to move to self-employment.
Pays one point and 2 member cents.


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