Reviews from

Role Model

The world is a stage

32 total reviews 
Comment from Joanna S. Blue
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

At the beginning, I thought it would be a heartwarming mother-daughter bonding story! When it is quickly and almost nonchalantly revealed that Lila is a dangerous sociopath, I had to readjust. You had me! I am a fan of thrillers and dare I say it, Lifetime movies. The mother's remark that "I've never believed in just letting children win" certainly proved true. Really entertaining.

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2019


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
    Thank you, Joanna; you said everything I wanted a reader to take away from this! I can't tell you how much I've loved reading this review!! xo
Comment from Sanku
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

WoW! i liked the story .It is gripping, tense and kept mee on the edge
I liked some of your sentences too.the description-an operatic obligatoto the low guttural snaps.....
Mother's efforts at beating her daughter at her own game is thrilling. was the daughter really trying to finish the mother off? Or she got her justd esserts...

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2019


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
    Wow! Thanks for the sixth star, Sanku, and that really good review, as well. I appreciate your specifics on what appealed to you. Knowing what 'connects' with readers is so helpful when I sit down to write more pieces. xo

    What's YOUR take on the outcome - was it planned, since the mom knew there would be wolves out there, and how they reacted before to seeing headlights, or did it feel like she just got luckier that way than she imagined?!
Comment from Artasylum
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hey,
RACHELLE ALLEN... The truth is sad and very true that you state here... We never know anyone through and through... especially if the person is a sociopath... they are perfect and wonderful until they are not... yours, diana

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2019


reply by the author on 05-Mar-2019
    That's why they're so tough to spot...or so I've read.
    Thank you for your review, Diana; I appreciate the feedback. xo
Comment from dmt1967
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow, I love this story. It was a bit slow getting started but when it did it took me all the way. The storyline was great and I liked the way the mother played cat and mouse with her daughter. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2019


reply by the author on 05-Mar-2019
    Thank YOU for this terrific review! I appreciate it very much! xo
Comment from Lordinajamjar
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow you eat marshmallows after your daughter's demise? Are you sure you are not Joan Collins? LOL

This story gripped me from the first with your beautiful delicious description of your cabin by the lake. I was going to drive over and ask for some hot water, tea and sugar, and milk and maybe the loan of a cup and saucer and a silver spoon. LOL. Then you went and got all Steven Kingy on me. HAHAHA It was shocking reading. Wicked in fact, but I absolutely loved it. Your writing is exquisite. It held my attention throughout.

Excellent

All the best

John

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2019


reply by the author on 05-Mar-2019
    There are no words sweeter to read than there, Lordinajamjar. And an extra star, as well? You are as generous as Life gets. Thank you. xo
Comment from Gail Denham
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow - what an incredible story. With a gruesome ending, that's for sure. Held my interest and then some.
If I had a comment, it would be - "how did the mother know the daughter was that killer?" what clue first alerted her? Also perhaps victims that had been killed to recently. And perhaps there might be fewer victims.

Would like to know how the mother knew. It would help the reader I think. Where? did they find this many wolves - that was unusual. Maybe the ending a bit too convenient.

And perhaps the story waxes eloquent with a few two many illustrative words - a few less would keep the suspense building. Love the descriptions and the tension you portray throughout. Characters are well defined and real. Good dialog, realistic.

Hope my comments don't offend - reason I give this many is because the story is so good. It could be even stronger with minor changes. I can see why you're in a top position. Mesmerizing story.

And you currently teach 75 music students. Amazing. Thanks for sharing this story.

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2019


reply by the author on 04-Mar-2019
    Thanks for all these suggestions, Gail. I always welcome them from reviewers and never take offense.

    Early on the in the story, it says that the mom discovered the bodies in a culvert on the far side of the lake, covered with fronds. She knew it was her daughter who did the killing because she recognized two of the victims because they were fresh enough kills: the stockbroker she'd brought home to meet her parents who allegedly told her he was returning to England, and the waitress who gave her lousy service the day before.

    As far as the wolf population, I actually saw a field full of yellow eyes one night, so I, know, first-hand that this can happen.
reply by Gail Denham on 05-Mar-2019
    Hope I'm replying to the right post - wow - that many wolves - where on earth do you live. I see that you did lay the groundwork for knowing your daughter did the deed. I wonder if there were ever other signs - in her growing up years that made you cement your knowledge. just curious about the story. gripping.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
    The place where my husband and I saw that field full of yellow eyes was when we went to visit his aunt and uncle at their cabin in the Adirondacks in Upstate NY. It is, in fact, what fueled this entire story!

    As far as 'other signs' of the daughter's sociopathy, the mother mentions early on that no, she has been totally blindsided because her daughter has proven to be such a chameleon. (If she knew earlier, chances are slim she'd have gone away with her into a place where she'd be so vulnerable to her!)
Comment from Sarkems
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well, that was a charming tale of mother/daughter love, wasn't it? You had me gripped. I thought the mother was going to get it in the neck. Great ending, though I'm left wondering whether the girl really DID kill anyone, or whether the mother was the murderer who built up a fantasy blaming her daughter, and her daughter was the latest victim.

Fabulous bit of horror, my friend.

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2019


reply by the author on 04-Mar-2019
    Well, she DID always say she didn't believe in letting children win...

    Thank you for the plucky review, Sarkems. I always love it when I receive your feedback. xo
Comment from JudyE
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow, what great writing. You really had me fooled. It seems Lila was her mother's daughter after all. At the end, I did wonder if 'livingroom' is one word or two. You maintained the mood very well throughout.

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2019


reply by the author on 04-Mar-2019
    You know what: you are right! Thanks for catching that. I'll go in an edit. You're like the kind of sweet friend who will tell someone if she has spinach in her teeth. That is my favorite friend in all the world - one who HONESTLY has my back! xo
Comment from Mastery
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi, Rachelle. I could swear I reviewed this same story earlier today? I must be going nuts. It is well written and all in all a great story. Your character study of the daughter is really very well done

What an unusual surprise ending this is. Wow! Didn't see that coming. LOL

Suggestion: "My heart pounds so hard into my ears, I have trouble hearing anything. (in my ears, not into)

Bless you Rach. Bob

 Comment Written 03-Mar-2019


reply by the author on 04-Mar-2019
    I don't see any other reviews on this one from you, Bob. I hate it when things like that happen...and the older I become, the more frequently it seems to be occurring, too. Oy.

    Anyway, thanks for edit. It's absolutely correct. I appreciate your helping me be my absolute best! xo
reply by Mastery on 04-Mar-2019
    You are fine, Rachelle. Your writing is outstanding. so I am elated rto help where I can. Bless you. :) Bob
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2019
    And I'm always grateful for the input! I never understand these members who get so put out if I point anything out to them. Why would you not want to improve on what you've spent so much time creating? Who's such a be-all/end-all that s/he can't make needed adjustments, you know? It's a perfect example of that phrase "Get over yourself!" lol [Okay, this is me stepping down from my soapbox now...]
Comment from Shirley McLain
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow, you sucked me right into that story. I stayed tense the entire time I was reading it. It was also a surprise ending with the mother's reaction. Great job. Shirley

 Comment Written 03-Mar-2019


reply by the author on 03-Mar-2019
    I have no shame, Shirley! lol But thank you for liking the story anyway. Your review was wonderful. xo