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A Free Verse Fable

21 total reviews 
Comment from Sophia Delgado
Excellent
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This has a mysterious and philosophical feel. It leaves room for interpretation, like the way you describe treasure as a rider's whip. Your similes and descriptions are unique and your meaning comes across powerfully.

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 13-Jun-2019
    Hello Sophia: Thank you so much for reading my poem in making such wonderful comments about it. ? The riders whip? was a term I struggled with just a little because I wanted it to be so graphic it would be clear to the reader. I also appreciate your comments about similes and metaphors that I use in my poetry. Am so grateful for the comment you made and I thank you for them. ?RZ-
    It is ironic. Just minutes ago I reviewed your poem on faith.
reply by Sophia Delgado on 13-Jun-2019
    It does add emphasis to the meaning, I think it fits well. Yes, I just saw your review, I didn?t even realize! Thank you for your kind comments as well.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2019
    You're welcome.
Comment from Raul1
Excellent
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I like how you structured this poem. It is very easy to read and understand. No grammatical errors. Excellent work! Thanks for sharing! Good luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 13-Jun-2019
    Raul: Thank you for reading my poem. I am grateful to you for your review and critique. I appreciate your positive evaluation of the piece and I thank you for the 5 stars. -RZ-
reply by Raul1 on 13-Jun-2019
    You're welcome.
Comment from Jamal A. McCray
Excellent
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This is actually a very good premise of what you have pondered, an unbiased stand from both sides of life's spectrum.
The heart is the true crown mankind wears.
If only we could weigh the hearts of a person, instead of praising and casting one away based on their lot in life...
Any who great poem!

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 13-Jun-2019
    Hi Jamal: Thank you for your kind words and honest appraisal of my poem. You have certainly read my intent in the words. I'm very grateful you read my poem and commented. Thank you for the 5 stars. -Robert-
Comment from LIJ Red
Excellent
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At a certain point the stomach outyells the heart and the homo sapiens becomes an omnivore on the prowl, with little humanity about him. Someone summed it up, "Being rich ain't everything. Being poor is nothing." Excellent poem.

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 13-Jun-2019
    Thank you Red: You have a straightforward way of putting things and I appreciate your comments (and the 5 stars). When I get positive reviews from people that know how to write, I am humbled. ?Robert-
Comment from Pam (respa)
Excellent
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-Good artwork, Robert.
-Your note is appreciated.
-A well written poem that
shows different qualities of a person
with effective examples.
-I like this line very much:
"Wisdom, not fortune, springs from the soul."
-I like the concluding verse, too-
the opening question and the final line.
-Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 13-Jun-2019
    Hello Pam: Thank you for your kind review and 5 stars. I am thrilled regarding your observation about the "Wisdom" line and the last line of the poem. I'm glad you liked the artwork. The hardest part for me is the attempt to use appropriate artwork. That one is so simple but it seemed like a summary to me. -Robert-
reply by Pam (respa) on 13-Jun-2019
    You are very welcome, Robert. I can see where artwork might have been a challenge. I appreciate your comments, too.
Comment from ShyWri
Good
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I absolutely love the last three stanzas and think they made your point extremely well. I think I would have given you a fifth star if those verses were the whole poem. The first two, although stating more of the main idea seemed too long-wordy and I got bogged down trying to decipher Just MHO.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2019

Comment from Mastery
Excellent
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Excellent entry here, Robert. Very well constructed free verse and very meaningful at the same time. I liked this stanza in particular:

"A paucity of riches doesn't equal scarcity of virtue.
Wisdom, not fortune, springs from the soul.
Wealth alone produces no character.
Poverty is not the source of dignity."

Bless you. Good luck in the contest. Bob

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 13-Jun-2019
    Bob: I am grateful and honored you took the time to read my work. I thank you for the complimentary remarks and the 5 stars. I am new to FS and learning to make my way around the site. It is a learning experience. -Robert-
Comment from misscookie
Excellent
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I love the artwork you choose to go with your poem
it is a perfect match to me it says "Man has reached his goal or material thing but lost the most important he had . His love, respect for himself and others for greed
this is what I call a food for thought poem thank you for sharing
Cook

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 13-Jun-2019
    Thank you Cook: I am grateful you took the time to read my poem. I thank you for the perceptive remarks. I am thrilled you saw the symbolism of the artwork. That was very perceptive. Thank you for your kind review and comments. -Robert-
reply by misscookie on 14-Jun-2019
    Your very welcome, have a safe and blessed week end.
    Cookie
Comment from DeborahWrite
Excellent
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Dear Author,
Your articulate and wise poem's premise brings substance of a man to the forefront. It could not be external wealth or external things we judge ourselves by, but indicate diversity in birth, origin, culture... and behavior and character that separate us.
Thank you for sharing this thought-provoking poem. Deborah

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 13-Jun-2019
    Hello Deborah: Thank you very much for the kind review and the five stars. I appreciate your remarks about the substance of a man being the source for judgement. I'm honored by your review and am honored you liked the piece. -Robert-
reply by DeborahWrite on 13-Jun-2019
    You are welcome and My pleasure!
Comment from Habib Oke
Excellent
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Great Job! It's cool the way you have portrayed the differences that exist in our life. One between Masters and their captives, leaders denying benevolence over the followers. Another is the differences of affluence, poverty, wisdom, character and dignity. I cherish your poem. It's brilliant!

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 12-Jun-2019
    Habib: Your review and comments have humbled me. I am thrilled you looked at my poem and saw all of the things I was trying to say. I commend you for your thoughtful comments. I appreciate that your evaluation of my poem. Thank you very much. -Robert-