Reviews from

Serene, Beside You

Loop Poem a/b/c/b/ rhyme

23 total reviews 
Comment from dragonpoet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This peom tells of gentle sincere love. It is romantic and matches the picture well.
Congrats on your third place finish in the contest.
Keep writing
Joan


 Comment Written 05-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 05-Oct-2019
    I'm pleased the sincere love came through for you in my poem. Thank you for your congrats.
reply by dragonpoet on 06-Oct-2019
    You're welcome.
    Joan
Comment from Carla Trinklein
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Such a dreamy, romantic poem, celebrating the cozy moments of love! This is beautiful, I enjoyed it thoroughly. I hope it does well for you in the contest!

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 23-Sep-2019
    Thank you so much for your lovely review and positive comments. I was pleased with this one - first time I've tried a loop poem.
Comment from poetwatch
Excellent
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Well done LisaMay. You got the flow of this Loop poem and it does that--flows-- into the next line like a lover flows into your arms. :) You express that feeling so tender and lovely, not a night of competition. This is a good entry for the Loop Poetry Contest.

 Comment Written 21-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
    Sorry for late response to your review. Thanks for your positive comments. That was my first effort at writing a loop poem, so I am pleased that you liked it.
Comment from Maria Jose Garcia
Excellent
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Even though I think this form is difficult to write without sounding weird, you have done very well.
Thanks so much for sharing and good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 20-Sep-2019
    Thanks, Maria. I don't care for the form either. It's the first time I wrote one myself and I didn't want it to sound awkward.
Comment from Gypsymooncat
Excellent
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This is really good! It flows really nicely, lovely imagery I've gots ta say including that very gorgeous pic...makes me think of those first months with someone new; it's all so romantic and dreamy. Actually, that's what I enjoyed the most was the dreamy tone of this poem. Dreamy and romantic...sigh. Gotta be a winner! Good luck xoxoxo

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 20-Sep-2019
    ... too good to be true. I can but dream. Thanks so much for your wonderful review.
Comment from BeasPeas
Excellent
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Hi Lisa. This is a very nicely composed piece. The looping words flow well and don't detract or jump out at the reader. I like how you have begun and ended with the same word--dreaming. Best of luck in the contest. Marilyn

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 19-Sep-2019
    Thanks for your nice review, Marilyn. It's my first go at a loop poem and I noticed the example did not loop back to the beginning, but I thought it connected better if the 'dreaming' was repeated.
reply by BeasPeas on 19-Sep-2019
    And you are correct. Adding that touch of repetition--first and last--is excellent. Marilyn
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Excellent
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I have read some loop poems that sound disjointed, illogical, and forced. Not so with this one. It is skillfully-written, smoothly-flowing, lovely, and romantic.

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 19-Sep-2019
    I don't like reading loop poems for exactly the reasons you detail. So I am very pleased to read your praising review of my offering.
Comment from karenina
Excellent
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I have to congratulate you on making this loop poem seem so very much NOT like a loop poem. So often the repeated "loop" words trip up the meter, tone, rhyme, emotion of the poem. You laced these in like a delicate ribbon through romantic lace.--Karenina

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 19-Sep-2019
    What a beautifully written review! Thank you for these comments.
reply by karenina on 21-Sep-2019
    Thank YOU for the great "loop" poem!--Karenina
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
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A very well-written loop poem about the closeness we have with a dear one, there is nothing more we want because their presence let us glow with happy dreaming.

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 19-Sep-2019
    Thanks for your review. May we all find love and dream on!
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Excellent
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A nice, longer loop poem! I see 'moonbeams' gets a second and third variation of sorts in the last stanza with 'beaming' as well. I think this flows naturally. It has a devoted tone or theme of devotion to a "dear" love. I think it comes out pretty optimistic. Not sure what to improve on.

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 19-Sep-2019
    Thanks for your review CC. I wasn't sure how long a loop poem could be as this was the first time I tried one. I don't usually like reading them much as it feels an awkward form, so for you to say it 'flows naturally' is nice praise.