Reviews from

The Shortest Hour

a mystery

11 total reviews 
Comment from shaffer40
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I see why you scored high in the contest. I as intrigued and then amused by the story -- and the surprise ghoul -- especially since I'm a total arachnophobe and would have done what your Ashley did. And the story is perfectly written. Well done.

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2019


reply by the author on 05-Nov-2019
    Thanks for the six-star rating!!
reply by shaffer40 on 05-Nov-2019
    You're welcome totally.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You did a good job with your contest entry, CJ. You leave readers wondering if she was dead or alive. Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Respectfully, Jan.

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
    Thanks, Jan.
    Actually it says clearly that Ashley is unconscious. Spiders?ll do that to some people!
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a great piece of fiction, my friend. So many women seem to be afraid of spiders and snakes. Well, mice as well. Wasps--now there's something to be afraid of! The rest really don't bother me. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
    Thanks, Debbie. I don't mind spiders myself, as long as they are not on me. My husband once had a "pet" spider in the shower for weeks!
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hey Coco. That's a pretty good story. It is short but has substance. You told a complete story and did it fast There was mystery but you did it well. The end was certainly unexpected. GOOD luck in the contest. Robert

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
    Thanks, Robert. I don?t mind spiders myself, as long as they aren?t on me!
reply by Robert Zimmerman on 30-Sep-2019
    I agree. I want them to be where I can step on them.
Comment from damommy
Excellent
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Yikes! That IS scary. I'm glad I've already had my bath today. As I understand it, she's merely unconscious and not dead.

This is a great entry for the contest. Good luck!

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
    Thanks. Yes, she is unconscious. See paragraph 6.
    I don't mind spiders myself, as long as they are not on me . . . or in my bath. We are so vulnerable when bathing--naked, alone, door closed . . .
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Excellent
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Ugh, this poem brings back memories of a spider bite in college, a brown one that was found dead later in the bed. I guess it could have been a juvenile recluse spider or something, but I could hardly lift my arm for days, it was so sore and swollen. So this short-short Halloween flash fiction contest entry tells a mysterious tale of something that sounds like a ghostly murder, but the twist at the end is that it is not a ghost at all! Not sure what to improve on. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
    Thanks.
    Sorry you had a bad spider experience. I don?t mind them myself. 🕷
Comment from JudyE
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a great entry for the Halloween Flash Fiction contest. You've kept your reader in suspense till the very end. I don't have any suggestions. Good luck.

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
    Thanks. I don?t mind spiders myself as long as they are not on me.
Comment from Cheryl I
Excellent
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I hate spiders, but I'm not too afraid to squash them! This is a good story, and part of the reason I shower rather than take bubble baths. lol Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
    Thanks. My husband has a ?pet? spider in the shower. I am amused by those who are terrified of spiders 🕷
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
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A very well-written Halloween flash fiction. It must be a terrifying experience to find a loved one on the floor without any visible reason until you find the spider that solves the mystery.

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
    Thanks. My husband has a "pet spider" in the shower, and I am amused by those who are terrified by our eight-legged friends.
Comment from Susan X Smith
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This was a weird scary short story. You managed to convey the entire story in the short space prescribed in the contest guidelines. Thanks for sharing. Good luck in the contest.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
    Thanks. My husband has a "pet spider" in the shower, and I am amused by those who are terrified by our eight-legged friends.